Winter Rant: ALL Woe

Oohhh, I was doing so well. I was beginning to think I’d get through this winter without the doldrums, without the SAD. I was cheery and chipper despite the cold and the grey skies. I was even managing to get to yoga class, in town, first thing in the morning. Well, that’s aaaalllll changed. Winter has officially kicked my bum. 

We’ve had such a cold winter—since December, it’s been above zero only a few times. This winter the temperatures have averaged around -10º. Cold with no humidity. I’m just cold. All. The. Time. But, I’ve managed to stay upbeat partially due to learning how to blog about the Winter Blues! It’s been a good diversion.

But things got worse last week. Even though my driveway turns into a slick skating rink, after the snow melts and refreezes numerous times, my shiny, blue, 4-wheel drive truck has always been able to negotiate the slick and get me out on to the road.

Not last Friday morning. It spun and shimmied and slid sideways as I tried to get to the main road. I live alone and, when these things happen, I usually have to take care of them myself. In the wintertime, that gets me down.

 

Ack! My driveway!

Luckily, I had the blue Ice Melt and some pea gravel and, after 45 minutes, I was on my way. I went about my day, the weather was fine and all was well. I even had a massage in the evening. It was -13º but all was well.

When I arrived home that evening, it was so dark and, knowing the state of my driveway in that kind of cold, I chose to park on the side of our street. I put the Icers on and walked down the driveway to the house. I got to my front door without falling down and deemed the effort a complete success. Winter had still not gotten the best of me.

HA! The next morning, my driveway was even worse than the day before. As the temps had risen during the day, some of the ice melted and when the temps went down again, the pools of water refroze making the rink even more of a rink than the morning before. ARGH.

When I made my way up to the truck, I discovered I had received a parking ticket! Halifax municipality now has a winter parking ban in the city between 1:am and 7:am. I live in the boonies but tax-wise, we’re part of the city. But, we don’t need a parking ban out here. We don’t have teeny little streets with lots of cars! This is what my street looked like the day I got the ticket:

And, I parked off to the side in the snow! There was no snow falling that night, no snow plows trying to plow. Some Mountie with a quota and nothing to do at 4:21am gave me a ticket. Ooo-ooo, the Winter Bum Scoobies were beginning to foment. 

I didn’t notice it at first but my truck had also been vandalised! I’d been afraid of that—I’m known in the community for working against ATVs on our walking trails and ATVers here are known to retaliate. Hello! Now I had at least a can of that string-in-a-can stuff all over the truck which had frozen and dried out and which left hard, crumbly, grey, chalk-like stuff everywhere. It turned into a powder when I tried to remove it. That powder, in turn, made it’s way into the windshield wiper mechanisms. This could cost money. Not happy. Bum scoobies gathering momentum…

As I was driving into town, my tire warning lights came on. *Really deep sigh* Had the vandals let the air out of my tires, too?? Bum scoobies now really gaining speed… I took the truck into the shop.

They checked the tires, put air in them and then tried to reset the warning light. It wasn’t happening. I had to make an appointment to come back into town so they could put the truck on a hoist. 

By then, I was fairly livid. It was freezing cold, the driveway was dangerous, I couldn’t park on the street, the truck was broken, and when I got home, Gracie, the Turdsicle dog, had gotten into the garbage. Unfortunately, I had had salmon for dinner the night before. Little Miss Turdsicle Pup had eaten all the skin, and fat and had spread fish stink all over the house. Now, I know Gracie getting into the garbage has nothing to do with winter but if it had been summer, at least I could have opened all the windows! Winter makes everything harder. *whine*

Yesterday and last night we had another wicked storm. From the news, I knew the roads were all bad. There had been snow, then freezing rain, then rain, and then it all refroze when the temperatures went way down. No yoga class for me–I had no hope of getting out of my driveway this morning. I stayed home all day… a Prisoner of Winter. *snif* I’m whooped. Today, the Winter Blues/Bum Scoobies win. Winter has finally kicked my butt. We’re due for another storm in a couple of days and maybe I’ll just stay in bed for the entire weekend!

Damn

I knew it. Sugar really IS addictive. Researchers have now proven that rats can become physically addicted to sugar. Take, for example, this post. I’ve always been a sugar freak but I actually weaned myself off of it a few years ago and lost a lot of weight. Then, one Christmas, a friend offered me some of those Lindt “Red Bombs,” as we call them, and, just like that, I couldn’t stop craving (and eating) sugar/chocolate/cookies/ice cream/but no cake. It was like someone flipped a switch!

I’ve always had this feeling that I can’t eat sugar or I will never stop. When I’m “off” sugar, I can get away with eating a little bit after a meal of high protein. The meal seems to subvert the addiction factor. However, if I eat sugar all by itself, or in large quantities, I’m dead in the water. I have to have more the next night and the next night after that, and then, forever.

So, for quite awhile now, I’ve had the little voice inside of me spelling out the facts while I don’t really listen. And, my friends either think I’m nuts and don’t believe me or they don’t really respect my needs since they seem to think it’s OK to push candy, chocolate, et.al., at me. I guess I don’t really respect mySELF (or that little voice) or else I wouldn’t cave in like I usually do. Apparently, I’ve needed scientific backup to take myself seriously.

So, during this holiday season, I’m doing a lot of hanging out on my own. I’m using this time to take better care of myself. I’ve been reading Havi’s blog and going through Dave Navarro’s “Never Procrastinate Again” and Itty Biz’s “Online Business School.” I’m also learning to use Kevin Hoctor’s wonderful budgeting software (for Mac) called MoneyWell. (I put it in bold because the software is terrific and Kevin is an extremely attentive developer.) One of these days, I’ll stop procrastinating long enough to do Havi’s “Procrastination Dissolve-O-Matic!” It’s ME time. Neither me nor that cute little rat deserves to be less than our best. PETA??? (Love that picture.)

Photo: via TigerDirect

Coping

Christmas Blues

I don’t have them this year. I’ve completely detached from Christmas. I usually go away for the holidays because I’m one of those people who have a really hard time with them. As a kid, Christmas was always a combination of excitement and dread.

Christmas Eve was fun and exciting—my parents would get one of their friends to dress up as Santa and wake us kids up in the middle of the night. I remember being so full of joy when that happened. Christmas Eve was always the best part of Christmas.

Christmas Day was fun for a little while. Opening presents was fun until the parents had had a few too many eggnogs and I’d get yelled at for not opening something in the correct order. That’s how it started.

First, it was improper unwrapping procedure. From there, Christmas spirit quickly disintegrated into the parents arguing, which led to all out fighting. And, it was always loud. Scary. Back then, Christmas joy didn’t last long. Christmas morning was good for a few hours and then it was all over. Life as usual. Alcohol, yelling, fighting, and what felt like hate.

Now, I’m functionally an orphan—I haven’t seen nor spoken to my family for 20+ years. Now I try to go away for the holidays. I’ve been to places like Antarctica, Chile, Peru, and Cuba for Christmas. It’s always such a huge relief to get away from all the media pictures of the perfect family—the loving, smiling faces as they receive yet more family members at the front door. Big front door. Warm, comfortable, cinnamon-y smelling (I’m sure), home. Cold, snowy outside. Lots of snow, lots of smiles and hugs. Lots of what I don’t have.

This year there isn’t money to travel. I feel like a grounded pilot. Because the economy is so bad, Christmas began early on TV this year. That made it much easier to detach from it. I’m just continuing those feelings…that it couldn’t be Christmas because it wasn’t even yet Halloween. Now, it’s December and it still isn’t Christmas. Yay.

 

Christmas in Cuba